to let it all out.
to unburden my mind and my heart.
i start back to work tomorrow, and i can't take all this baggage with me.
i've had so much emotional and family drama and turmoil over the last month, i have to get it out. i don't normally post personal family issues on here, but i can't let this go.
i need opinions and advice. i need suggestions.
i need to know if anyone else has been through/is going through something like this...or is it just my family?
it all started with a birthday party...and it's blown up from there.
i have been hurt beyond belief. i didn't know someone that i thought loved me unconditionally could turn on me without a second thought.
this someone is my sister...
my only sister.
i have been through pain and grief and anger...but this is unbearable to me.
i've tried to extend an "invitation" to work things out. but it doesn't seem to be a priority.
i'd like to think that i'm not the only one hurting...but i'm not sure that's true.
as if being without my sister wasn't hard enough, now i've been hurt by my mother.
it only took a minute...to disappear without a word.
to ignore family, friends, and grandchildren.
but, again, the pain is undeniable.
i'm trying to be strong.
i'd like to just be mad...angry...pissed.
and pretend it doesn't matter. that it's okay.
pretend that i could speak my mind and voice my opinion and they'd listen and understand.
that they would see and understand my point.
i just don't think that's going to happen.
and so far, the only way i've been able to cope is to find some space by myself and cry it out.
it's all so stupid. something little being made into something tremendous and, possibly, something that can't be fixed.
the only saving grace right now is that my girls don't know what's going on.
i just don't know what i'm going to do when they start to notice that 2 of their favorite people aren't around anymore.